1. |
Little Brother
03:47
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First thing I remember about you
Is you were short and skinny
You loved black olives on your pizza
And drank chocolate milk everyday
We used to put on shades and
Go down to the nearby school
To play strikeout hoping that we
Wouldn’t get fucked with or our shit taken
People used to think you were my little brother
So you tried extra hard in sports
But it didn’t make a difference you were just too small
Your mom was the first Susan that I knew
We used to swim all day at your pool
Drinking 2 liters of coke
Listening to UB40’s “Red Red Wine” on repeat
I don’t remember any of our jokes
But I know we had’m
Cause I can still picture you laughing so hard
Coke was coming out your nose
People you to think you were my little brother
So you tried extra hard in sports
But it didn’t make a difference you were just too small
Your mom lived in a tiny one bedroom apartment
With an elevator that was a certified death trap
She was always curled up on the sofa
Pill bottles and dirty dishes
When you’re that age you don’t know any different
And everybody’s got an opinion about how it should be
People used to think you were my little brother
So you tried extra hard in sports
But it didn’t make a difference you were just too small
Your mom was the first Susan that I knew
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2. |
Beach Soccer
02:42
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You hold my best
Beach memory
Playing soccer
On the beach
Hiding out
In the afternoon
Smoking a joint
You get so tired
Running in the sand
But the high lets
You go further
Your head would swim
You catch your breath
Running for the goal
One-on-one beach soccer
One-on-one beach soccer
With you then
Was so fun
Genuine good times
I’d meet you down
On the road
Flip flops and
Water bottle
Hooked on your thumb
We’d find a nice spot
Watch the waves
And talk
Digging my fingers in the sand
One-on-one beach soccer
One-on-one beach soccer
With you then
Was so fun
Genuine good times
Set of keys
An old t-shirt
Make the goals
Just don’t cheat
Tide comes in
We run right through it
Water comes close
Sand is bubbling
We play on
One-on-one beach soccer
One-on-one beach soccer
With you then
Was so fun
Genuine good times
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3. |
Lake Manzanita
04:46
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Take HWY 5
Up north through Red Bluff
Stop at Willows and
Nancy’s Airport Cafe
While we drive
I spot birds along the road
Turkey vultures and
The occasional red tailed hawk
You call for water and
I pass the green canteen
With the top screwed off
I change your glasses when the sun comes out
And like clockwork you
Order the tuna melt
And leave half of it
In your big white beard
Every summer we’d
Go camping at Lake Manzanita
Drive up listening
To “Stuck in Ol’ Lodi Again”
It was tradition
Until you got to old to go
I can still see you there
Walking with your scope
Uncle Runts and Burney Falls
We made the “psssh psssh” sound
On the hunt for green tailed towhees
Never saw a one
Not in all the years we went
And the Hat Creek Days
You would bird and I would fish
Loons and Coots
Mallards and Pied Billed Grebes
Red Wing Blackbirds in the Manzanita trees
Prehistoric trout
Line the banks still as stone
We walk around the lake
Bats fly in the fire smoke
And when the darkness comes
So does a lonely feeling
I hear families laugh
Around us they sing
Every summer we’d
Go camping at Lake Manzanita
Drive up listening
To “Stuck in Ol’ Lodi Again”
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4. |
Star Crossed Lovers
04:06
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I remember those first few dates and
How we watched Desperate Housewives
On your couch and made out
At work I saw you from afar
You used to call me up and it was clear
You didn’t have a reason
You just wanted to talk
Take a walk, get a beer
My godmother said we were star crossed lovers
It was my first time being loved so fully
And I didn’t know how rare it was
We used to go to Tommy’s Joynt
Get hot turkey plates and Irish coffees
Cook hamburgers in your backyard
You were so impressed with my salad dressing
You got my dad a TV stand
Cause the one he had was wobbly
He was so touched by that gesture and
Mentioned it for many years
You loved Jerzy Kosinski and thought
Dwight Yoakam was sexy
Didn’t garden much but what you had
You gave to me
Wrapped inside a ring box with a card on which
You poured your heart out
A small strawberry
The only one you grew
I searched for versions of you
Tried to cut and paste
You were 9 years older
I wasn’t ready for what you were
Hoping I would have a change of heart
I probably would have
But I had to scratch that itch
I wanted other chapters
Saw myself as someone else
You were the one I couldn’t shake
I replayed every smile
And when I sing the song Good Things
I think of you
My godmother said we were star crossed lovers
It was my first time being loved so fully
And I didn’t know how rare it was
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5. |
Just This Morning
03:35
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Summer dusk
We just finished
Making love
Two months after
Giving birth to our son
In the stroller by the bed
We lie after
It’s so peaceful
The kind of moment
You wish you could reach
Whenever you want
But the silence goes too long
Or it’s a certain type of silence
If I had to guess I’d say
You’re thinking of something
Fun we did
That we can no longer do
You sit in bed
With that glazed over look
Nursing the baby
Watching “Project Runway”
On your laptop
I stand over the sink
Washing baby bottles
Listening to the sound
Of the baby’s tiny gulps
In the other room
Just this morning
We were watching a music
Video together in bed
I put the baby on my knees
And made his hands dance
While you filmed it on your phone
Then we stood together
In front of the mirror
And you looked at our reflections
And said
"Family" in the same way you
Used to say it when
We’d be cuddled up on
On the sofa with our dog
I don’t want to prepare for
Anything anymore
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Potential Gospel Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Alternative folk.
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